Oh, Canada!

What Makes You an Expert on Canada?

Panorama

Images in this picture are larger than they appear.

I can see Canada from my house.

No, this is not a picture from my house, I can’t afford to live up on this hill, but if I stood on a really tall ladder on top of my house (a 200′ ladder maybe) I could see Canada across the Strait of Juan de Fuca. Vancouver Island, home of Victoria BC and lots of trees, is a stone’s throw (a George Washington stone’s throw) from the humble village I call home.

Satellite image of the Strait of Georgia, Stra...

See? The only thing between me and Canada is water, and a few laws preventing me from rowing my kayak over there on weekends. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I have also pretended to be Canadian when I travel so that people don’t think I am an American jerk. (This has never been successful because I am not polite enough, don’t speak a second language, and think Celine Dion is overrated.)  I have practiced talking like a Canadian and have even adopted a few Canadian mannerisms like saying, “Sorry” frequently (pronounced sOOOry in Canadian).

Now that we have established my bona fides, on to the guide.

12 replies »

  1. Wrong. 80% of Canadians think Celine Dion is overrated. 19% think it’s weird that she married that old guy and scienced up babies. The other 1% are part of her freakishly extended family.

  2. I glanced out my back door to see what claims to fame I may have overlooked. All I’ve got is my neighbors’ goat pen and a blackberry patch.

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